They had €10K more for you
You said yes too fast. Here’s what that silence actually cost you
A recruiter told this story recently, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.
A senior developer. Strong candidate. Passed all the interviews. Got the offer.
And accepted it immediately — €10,000 below the approved range — because, and this is a direct quote:
“I didn’t want to make it awkward.”
The following week, a candidate with the exact same qualifications interviewed for the same role, with the same hiring manager, from the same budget. That candidate asked for more. And got it.
Same company. Same role. Same money sitting there waiting.
The only difference? One of them was willing to have a five-minute conversation.
This is not a rare story. It’s the default.
Only 39% of workers negotiated their salary for their current job. The rest left an average of $7,500 on the table. In Europe, the gap is smaller — but it’s still real, and it still compounds over years.
And here’s the part that makes it worse: 73% of employers say they would be willing to negotiate an initial offer, yet 55% of candidates never even ask. The door is open. Most people never walk through it.
Think about that ratio. Nearly three out of four companies are ready to give you more — and more than half of candidates don’t even try.
That’s not a negotiation problem. That’s a psychological one.
Why engineers, specifically, struggle with this
Engineers especially treat the “business stuff” like it’s beneath them or outside their expertise. They’ll spend three weekends optimizing a database query that saves 40 milliseconds, but won’t spend ten minutes on a phone call that’s worth €10,000 a year.
Sound familiar?
The instinct makes sense, honestly. Engineers are trained to solve problems with clean, provable answers. Code either works or it doesn’t. A salary negotiation is fuzzy, social, uncertain. It feels uncomfortable in a way that debugging never does.
But the discomfort is based on a fear that isn’t real.
94% of negotiated offers remain intact. Hesitation is largely based on misperception, not reality.
They are almost never going to rescind the offer because you asked for more. The worst realistic outcome is that they say no and you’re exactly where you started. But that almost never happens either — 85% of Americans who countered on salary or benefits received at least some of what they asked for.
Know what market you’re in
Before you negotiate, you need a number to anchor to. And in Europe, the range varies a lot.
A mid-level software engineer (3–5 years of experience) across Western and Central Europe earns roughly €65,000–€90,000 gross annually. Senior engineers in Western hubs earn €90,000–€130,000.
Senior Software Engineer salaries vary significantly across European markets: Germany averages around €111,800, the Netherlands €110,100, France €96,200, and Spain €83,400.
So if you’re in Amsterdam and someone offers you €80K for a senior role, you have data to push back with. If you’re in Milan or Madrid and you’re sitting at €55K with five years of experience, the same applies.
Know the band before the call. Use Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, and LinkedIn Salary to build your range. Come in with a number, not a feeling.
The moment most engineers give away their leverage
It happens before the negotiation even starts.
The recruiter asks, early in the process: “What are your salary expectations?”
And the engineer, eager to seem reasonable and not rock the boat, gives a number.
The moment you name a number, you’ve set a ceiling. If you say €70k and they were prepared to offer €80k, you just lost €10k. Always try to get them to name a number first.
The right answer to that early question is something like:
“I’d love to hear what the range looks like for this position first.”
Or: “I want to make sure we’re aligned on the overall package before I give a specific number.”
Most companies will give you a range. And now you’re negotiating from their number, not yours.
What’s actually negotiable (it’s more than salary)
Most engineers think of negotiation as a single moment: the offer comes in, you either push back on the number or you don’t.
But salary is just one piece. The full picture includes base salary, bonus, equity, signing bonus, remote flexibility, vacation, and start date.
A €72K base with a 15% target bonus and meaningful equity can easily beat an €80K base with nothing else attached. Run the full numbers before you decide.
If they can’t move on base, there are other levers. Ask for a signing bonus. Ask for an earlier performance review at 6 months instead of 12. Ask for an extra week of vacation, or full remote flexibility. In Europe especially, these elements have real tangible value — and companies often have more room there than on the base salary itself.
Most candidates don’t leave money on the table because they’re bad negotiators. They do it because they misunderstand where flexibility actually exists, and when to slow down.
The script, for those who hate scripts
You don’t need to be slick. You don’t need a rehearsed monologue. You just need to say something like this, calmly, after the offer comes in:
“Thank you so much — I’m really excited about the role. I’ve done some research on the market and, based on my experience with [X and Y], I was hoping we could get to [number]. Is there room to move in that direction?”
That’s it. Professional. Direct. Low-pressure.
Employers expect candidates to negotiate. It’s a normal part of the hiring process. Most will not withdraw an offer if you negotiate professionally and reasonably. Negotiating shows that you are confident in your value.
And confidence in your value — in a job market that explicitly rewards it — is exactly the thing that gets you further.
One more thing, because this newsletter is what it is
Your LinkedIn profile plays a role here, even before the offer lands.
When a recruiter already knows who you are — when they’ve seen your posts, read your thoughts, tracked your work — you walk into that conversation with a different kind of weight. You’re not just another CV. You’re someone they wanted.
That changes the dynamic entirely.
People who are visible, who have built a presence, negotiate from a position of strength. Because they have options. And both sides know it.
You don’t have to choose between being a great engineer and knowing what you’re worth.
You can be both. You just have to be willing to say so.
Was this useful? Share it with the engineer who just said yes without thinking twice.